Boundaries That'll Take You to New Heights

Set boundaries like this.... to have a day of friendship and fun.

You know someone who talks about boundaries all the time.

They wear boundaries like a badge. Telling you and others, what their boundaries are. Alerting you to not mess with them.

They give you their palm when you step over the line. Or they hang up on you and don't call you back for days. Or forever.

It can feel extreme. And even hurtful when done without care. But done well, it helps relationships improve. And can even stop someone, you or them, from hurting themself.

Yet even the best boundary setters often forget to look for and set boundaries in the most important place.... their own thought world.

Do you know how to set boundaries in your thought world?

Examine the percentage of your thoughts that are helpful vs hurtful.

Break the habit of wasting time on harmful thoughts:

🤔What does she think of me

😢I'll never be good at this

😢She does this to hurt me

😢He doesn't care about me

Acknowledge thoughts that are painful and uncomfortable. As long as they are helpful.

Draw the line though, for the ones that don't aid in your well being.

A harmful thought on replay is your cue to take action.

But for an overthinker, it's hard to stop thinking and take action. Because you don't know what the right action is.

Use this as a quick guide to taking action when you're thinking an unhelpful thought:

1) Redirect your attention to a thought that's helpful, e.g., Whether she does this to hurt me or not, how can I behave in a way that is helpful for both of us?

2) Take action, e.g., Decide to address the situation in the best way you know how right now, and no matter how it goes, vow to learn from it

3) Learn from it, e.g., Create a journal that specifically chronicles your efforts to resolve interpersonal conflicts when they occur. Being sure to write down how your effort worked out

This'll make you a communication scientist. You'll be testing your communications until you find what works. Scientists don't get discouraged when a theory doesn't pan out. They look for a new theory, a new insight, and put it to the test.

Your thoughts need to be put to the test. Otherwise you won't know whether they're true or false.

As you work through this process, life becomes fun, and you become a friend to yourself. When you're a friend to yourself, others want to be your friend too.

Have you ever seen someone use 'boundaries' in a way that seemed unhealthy for you or them?

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I help Overthinker’s get to know their hidden strengths, instead of faulting themselves for what others deem as wrong